to hold this for you (love is for children part 3)
by neverephemeral
Summary: 'You won't be able to change me,' Natasha stated, as if it were a well known fact. 'Change you' Darcy's voice cracked. 'I'm just trying to love you.'
**So, I'm back to writing and it feels good. (:**

* * *

 _ **What if I said I would break your heart?**_  
 _ **What if I said I have problems that made me mean?**_  
 _ **What if I knew I would just rip your mind apart**_  
 _ **Would you let me out?**_  
 _-You Should Know Where I'm Coming From by Banks_

 **D** arcy arrived to the dinner party about an hour after it had started; usually she was more on time for the event but this time it was different. She took extra care to look her best tonight because she knew that Natasha would be attending. The Avengers dinner party had become a staple in their lives, which pleased Tony; he was able to be the center of attention and show off and annoyed Fury to no end because he had no choice in the matter.

That's politics.

Darcy usually came as a third wheel to Jane and Thor and she usually left with either Banner or Steve, depending on who scored the last dance with her. She rather enjoyed herself because she was having fun with her friends. This time around, however, she aimed at looking drop dead gorgeous for the woman that she was in love with.

"Darce, you look amazing," Steve said as he appeared to her left, his hands shoved awkwardly into his pants pockets.

She smiled, her dark red lips standing out against the black dress that she was wearing. Darcy had side parted her dark brown hair to her right, pinning the other side of her hair back; her dress was suited perfectly to her body and reached the top of her knees.

"Really?"

Steve nodded and leaned toward her, lowering his voice, "she'll be blown away."

Darcy's cheeks began to warm and she smiled, "you look quite handsome, Captain."

"Thanks," he shrugged, "I'm still not use to wearing a suit."

"You would think that Captain America wouldn't mind so much."

"Formal suit, Darce."

"Your Avengers uniform isn't formal? Don't tell Fury," she teased.

Steve laughed and shook his head. She laughed, unable not to; she always considered it a win whenever she made him smile. Unable to help herself, Darcy began to scan the room for a certain red haired woman, "has Natasha arrived yet?"

"I'm not sure," Steve began to look around himself. "I thought I saw..."

"Saw what?" She looked at him and then followed his line of sight. She felt as if she was punched in the stomach; Natasha was across the room and flirting with a man that Darcy knew she had relations with before. "Yeah, so I'm gonna hang at the bar."

Darcy turned and walked over to the bar, bracing her hands against the counter top and tried to get her breathing back under control. _It's fine, Darcy. Remember to breathe._

"Darcy," Steve frowned, standing beside her.

She looked back over her shoulder and saw the man lean in and say something in Natasha's ear. She turned away quickly, getting the attention of the bartender, "Beer, please."

"Make it two," Steve added.

* * *

Another hour had passed and Darcy wasn't drunk yet but she was slightly buzzed. She had taken two shots and drank two beers; she was working on her third. Darcy tried to keep her mind preoccupied and not think about Natasha and that man. She tried to keep her attention elsewhere; talking with Jane, a dance or two with Steve, doing a shot with Tony but she still found herself always looking to see if Natasha was still here. Her stomach would drop when she didn't spot them right away and she thought that they had left the party. When she did find them, hidden away in a dark corner or dancing with one another, a piece of her heart broke off and fell to the pit of her stomach.

 _Keep it together Darcy._

Keep it together she did and she was proud of herself for doing so. It was when the man ran his hands down Natasha's sides that she decided that she couldn't take it anymore and needed to step out for some air. The night air was cool against her skin but refreshing, especially with how hot she was.

"Had enough?"

Darcy spun around and found Natasha, standing in the doorway; staring at her with her knowing eyes.

"A lot of snobs," Darcy joked, "I needed some clean air." She turned away from the other woman. "Not to mention this balcony has a breathtaking view of New York City."

"Yes, it does," Natasha nodded. "Quite breathtaking."

Darcy looked back out to the city skyline and then back at the party, anywhere but directly at her.

"You look stunning."

Darcy was quick to look at the other woman. Her breath was taken right out of her and she wasn't able to talk for a moment. _She just called me stunning._

Natasha smirked, "you do."

"Are you going to leave with him?" Darcy asked. She wasn't able to ignore the elephant on the patio anymore. She _needed_ to know.

Natasha sighed and walked over to the edge of the balcony, her hands wrapped loosely around the banister. Darcy stared at her back, waiting for her to say or do something.

"You don't want to be with me."

Darcy stepped forward, "yes, I do."

"No," Natasha shook her head, "I have a past, Darcy."

"Everyone has a past."

Natasha shot Darcy a look over her shoulder, "not my kind of past."

"I know," Darcy walked over and stood next to her, leaning against the banister. "I want you. _All_ of you."

Natasha shook her head.

"Is the thought of us that terrible?" Darcy quietly asked. She began to chew the corner of her bottom lip and she felt small.

Natasha once again shook her head, not looking at the other brown haired woman.

"You won't be able to change me," Natasha stated, as if it were a well known fact.

"Change you?" Darcy's voice cracked. "I'm just trying to love you."

"And I'm just trying _not_ to love you," Natasha replied.

Darcy recoiled as if she had been punched. This time she wasn't able to stop the tears from running down her cheeks. Natasha gave her a final look before she turned away and walked back into the party, leaving Darcy alone on the balcony. All Darcy could do was stare after her.

 _So this is what it is to be heart broken_ , Darcy thought.

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 ** _Thanks for reading. Sorry it's not my best. I hope you still enjoyed it._**


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